10 Things I Wish Every NICU Parent Knew

After caring for thousands of NICU families, there are things I wish I could gently whisper to every parent on their first day.

Here are ten of them.

1. The Alarms Are Usually Not Emergencies

NICU monitors are sensitive by design.

Many alarms are reminders — not crises.

If your team is calm, you can be too.

2. Progress Is Rarely Linear

Two steps forward. One step back.

That is normal in the NICU.

Setbacks do not erase progress.

3. You Are Not in the Way

Parents often stand back, unsure.

Please don’t.

Ask questions. Touch your baby. Learn the routines.

You belong here.

4. Your Baby Knows Your Voice

Even premature babies respond to familiar voices.

Reading softly, speaking gently — it matters.

5. Small Milestones Are Big Victories

First time off oxygen.

First time wearing clothes.

First bath.

First full feeding.

Celebrate and document them!

6. It’s Okay to Step Outside

You do not need to sit at the bedside 24/7 to prove love.

Rest strengthens you.

And your baby needs a strong parent.

7. Guilt Is Common — But Not Necessary

Prematurity and medical complications are not caused by something you did or didn’t do.

Release that weight.

8. The NICU Team Truly Cares

This isn’t just our job.

Many of us chose neonatology because we love fragile beginnings.

We celebrate your baby’s victories too.

You and your baby become part of our family!

9. You Will Not Always Feel This Raw

The intensity of the NICU is temporary.

Even when it feels endless.

10. This Story Will Shape You — Not Define You

The NICU was not the beginning you imagined.

But it can become a story of resilience, strength, and unexpected connection.